In my late 20s and new in town, I’m completing the obligatory first-timers paperwork in a doctor’s office. I circle yes or no to the usual questions, turn in the clipboard and return to my seat.

After a minute or so, I am asked to approach the reception desk.

I circled ‘yes’ after “have you had implants?” and added “1990-2003” on paper.

Those scrub diva’s wanted answers.

With a shrug of my shoulders, and a pat on my back for honesty, I said, “the novelty wore off and I was pretty much done with them.”

I suddenly witness simultaneous head-tilt-with-a-smile faces on four medical assistants.

I can’t remember what happened newt, but eventually, it was concluded that I misunderstood the questions and we all shared a room full of laughter.

The doctor I was visiting was a dentist.

9 thoughts on “Implants

  1. omg.. that was so funny! Speaking of Dentists… here's a joke for you: I'm scared to death of the dentist.. I mean really petrified!!! One day while sitting in the chair.. white knuckling the arm rests of course.. hyperventilating.. the Dentist said.. "Are you going to be alright?". I replied, "I don't know Doc, I really hate going to the dentist.. this stuff scares me to death.. I'd really rather have a baby than this dental work!".. He looked at me with a really straight face and said… "WELL MAKE UP YOUR MIND.. I HAVE TO ADJUST THE CHAIR."(that cracked me up so much.. that I laughed so hard I was no longer scared, and all went well)


  2. THAT is about the funniest thing I've read all month. I can't wait for people to wake up (it's early!) so I can share that with them!Thanks for the laugh.I'll be back.I'll remember to put my coffee DOWN next time before opening your page. I practically drenched my laptop when I spewed.:-)


  3. @ScoMan Thank you – I agree! When you laugh at yourself, the world laughs with you! @f8hasit I love that you came by and commented — and best of all, you enjoyed! I have so many of these embarrassing stories, I'm happy to share!


  4. What a funny post! As a post transition trans woman, I've grown to accept my slightly less than C cup breasts, and I've felt the temptation to go with implants. So many friends seek breast augmentation and I think it is a large part of our identity as women. However I'm learning to love me for me, and though I might be small, they're mine all mine 🙂


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