It’s no secret we bend the truth with our loved ones in the name of kindness. Some will call this tact, while most people say they are saving an argument. But what about strangers; people sharing public space with us? Every day we witness all types of different people roaming the streets.
When it comes to people we don’t know who dance to a different drummer, some of us can get caught up in the Judgment Game.
I recently asked author and spiritual guru Deepak Chopra the question: What is the difference between opinion and judgment? His answer was simple: Moral self righteousness (I know. Deep, right?)
If you stop to think about it, the line between opinion and judgment can sometimes be blurry at best. I try hard not to judge people but it’s a constant exercise in compassion and love out there in the big world of eccentricities. One trip to WallMart I’m busting inside having swallowed so many words. Wait. Did I just make a judgment on WallMart? See what I mean.
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So how about you – do you judge? Are you judged?
What about opinions – how watered down does your truth get when pouring from the heart?
Christine Macdonald 
Instant judging is what I'm famous for, but I make sure I don't offend people, just have fun with it myself.Secretia
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Right or wrong, it's human nature to judge people, even on appearance alone. Those with open minds have a better grasp on holding their judgment until they get to know the person. I think the difference is that with judgment, we form an opinion before knowing the facts. While opinion is a conclusion after knowing the facts.
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My dad always told me when I judged people that we are all just people trying to get by, by what ever means we know how. I try to not judge based on the fact that I don't know what they have been through. But I still judge sometimes.
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@Secretia – Haha.. reminds me of that line in Sex and The City (TV, not movie) that Carrie's BGF says: Some people do arts and crafts. We judge. Oh my… 🙂 @Matty – Well said! What about when we judge ourselves?
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@Danielle – I agree. It's hard not to, then I remember "everyone has a story"…
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Well, there's "judging" and there's "judging" and there's "judging". We all have to use "judgment" every day. Perhaps a better definition for that use of the word is "assessment" or "evaluation".Then there is the instant judgment that we make which has to do with those instincts of 'fight or flight'. And unfortunately the question "Does this person make me uncomfortable?" comes from that place.Finally, there is the moral judging which may follow the other two, and it is this judging which we can control or modify by discipline, experience, and patience.I think it's good that we even ask ourselves if we're being too hard on others; that is what sets this kind of "judgment" apart from the others.
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My truth pours out of me, whether favorable or not, but with those not closest to me, I am able to water hard truths down with kindness and discretion. And I am a judger of such an ignoble degree. As much as I believe in tolerance, I do judge the intolerant… and the people of Walmart.
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Every day I use the password "tolerance" on several of my password protected thingys to remind me not to judge.Yet I do!When I do I feel a bit of shame.And judging myself? Oh dear. That can get ugly!
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@DeNae – Oh I love it! "Fight or Flight!"@Joanne – I am the same way. I am honest. Sometimes to a fault, but try to always be kind. @Deborah – What a fantastic idea. Tolerance is such a good word.
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I do judge people, but only in the sense that I need to decide whether or not I want those people in my life. I try not to do the thing where I decide whether or not those people are "good" when measured against my own standards. That's where I think judgment is really wrong — to hold people to a standard they don't themselves aspire to. Great post!
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I'm good at forming an opinion of others based on first impressions. That said, it's usually their appearance combined with actions that create that impression. And most of the time it is in a public setting… such as WalMart… that the impression is formed. Funny, I could have said Costco or Safeway. Ironically, my own behavior, and probably my appearance, would not meet my standards. What anyone else thinks of me is none of my business.
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@Alexis – Thanks, Beauty. I like your standards. 🙂 @IT – Here here!
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This is difficult to answer. Damn woman! You always make me think!The funny thing is, to say someone else is judging is to also judge because not one person has walked in another person's shoes.So perhaps sometimes I perceived that someone else judged me when they actually did not???Maybe the thin line which exists between OPINION and JUDGMENT depends on emotions?I mean, when someone has too much heart, they often tend to JUDGE because their allowing their emotions to rule their thinking and sometimes they interject a false truth which actually doesn't exist due to what is known as the "fight or flight" syndrome.However, at the opposite end of the scale is the person who has too much head and they often base an OPINION on information which comes solely based on facts while bypassing emotions.With that being said, too much head can create conflict too because while factual information might stand up in a court of law, who in the hell wants to sleep with someone who is unemotional and lacks passion?But then, of course, too much heart can also create conflict because who wants someone who is so passionate they form all of their opinions based solely on emotions?So perhaps we all judge, to some extent, do we not?
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Thanks Shelly! Your comments always make me think! 🙂 Very well said.
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Kinda off topic, but I've got a massive intellectual crush on Deepak Chopra. I could listen to him speak all day. Honestly, he could read me the phone book and I'd be hanging on every word.However, I'm judgey. I shouldn't be, but… I am.
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I judge. **head hanging in shame***I don't want to, and try not to, but I'm human, and sometimes give into the temptation. It always makes me feel guilty, especially since I hate it when others judge me. Christine, I just love the choice of pictures you use to accompany your blog! They always seem to hit home in some way. The above pic is virtual replication of a picture of me, my sister and my cousin, sitting on my grandmother's back porch steps, way back in the early fifties. It's uncanny! ;-)Melissa XX
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