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There is an old saying that friends are the family you choose.
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Let’s be honest. Not everyone has a Norman Rockwell family where movie nights and supportive bonding follow weekly Sunday dinners. In fact, outside of sharing the same bloodline, some family members have no similarities at all (other than sharing the common denominator of having nothing in common).
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Regardless of the situation and underneath certain unparalleled exteriors, there is still an unconditional love with (most) families. In other words, you don’t necessarily have to like someone to love them.
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Friendships almost always entail actually liking the person. When was the last time you went to a movie with the rude co-worker who smelled like onions?
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Threading within the walls of true friendship is where you will find the fabric of your own heart.
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It is a special moment when two people connect over nothing more than platonic chemistry. When we grow older, we protect this bond. Time does not tatter and tear these connections, either. In fact years of friendships only complement us. Beyond crow’s feet, slowing metabolism and gray hair lays the beauty of our true inner selves. We complement one another with every time stamp we earn, celebrating who we are as human beings.
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We stand up for our friends. We listen to them rant about the driver who cut them off or we make them laugh when they feel anxious. Even if we never ask for help a friend is there, knowing you would do the same for them.
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Friendships are the warm blankets you reach for without needing to turn on the lights. They are sunsets to the sea, complementing colors wrapped in a warm glow of just being present.
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So why is it that we sometimes don’t treat ourselves with the same type of friendship and love? When your friends feel like giving up, how do you support them? When they reach a tiny goal in life, how do you congratulate them? Remember to treat yourself the same way. Without “me”, there could be no “we”.
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.“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection” – Buddha
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14 comments

  1. I'm a quote fiend and here is another one of my faves: "The most important thing in life is your family. There are days you love them, and others you don't. But, in the end, they're the people you always come home to. Sometimes it's the family you're born into and sometimes it's the one you make for yourself. " Carrie Bradshaw…a very smart girl with some totally kickass shoes.

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  2. Very insightful post. What an interesting person you must be! I must say I think it would be a very interesting afternoon to share a cup of coffee with you and talk about who you are and all the things you're experienced in your life. I'm intrigued about you…I must admit the words "stripper" certainly caught my attention. I'm an "ethnographer"–classroom ethnographer to be precise. But the research techniques are the same no matter what "group" you are examining and learning more about. There's so much that's written between the lines of what you write about in this post–loving folks you don't like, having only "nothing in common" in common…very introspective. Anyway, you prove what I always say…everyone has a story that's worth listening to if you take the time to get to know them and people are complex beings who bring so much more than you might think based on first impressions. Found you on SITS…stop by my blog some day. Would love to see you there! dianewords.wordpress.com

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  3. What a great way to put something into perspective that I am horrible at doing. I don't ever cut myself slack, but I'm generous to the world around me. Once again, you have given me words to contemplate in my heart. Thanks for that, my girl.

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  4. The best advice I was ever given was when I was aware of the negative self-talk, STOP, apologize, then say something nice about myself. The key is in awareness. It's not always there.Thanks for a beautifully written post.Also stopping by from SITS.

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