As I sit on the balcony of my hotel room, the sun melts behind fingers of palm trees in the crisp September air. I allow the tears to fall.
When I arrived two days ago at the Central Coast Writer’s Conference in San Louis Obispo I didn’t know what to expect. Would I feel out of place in a sea of professional literary gurus? Probably. Would I learn things about myself I never realized? I was about to find out.
The gist of what I took away from the weekend is this: I know why I am here.This is not to say I will become the next Elizabeth Gilbert. I simply feel now that with life, I finally know what all the fuss is about.
When you finally realize what your passions are, you can’t wait to soak up every drop.There is nothing more gratifying than realizing your dreams – even if they never meet with your wild fantasies of grandeur, the knowing is what keeps us going.
My eyes welled up today in joy and sorrow. I connected with amazing people and learned so much. Today was the perfect melody in the song of my heart and I danced with unabashed joy.
* * *
Side note: I did not wear a stitch of make-up all weekend. If you know my story, well, that is huge.
Published by Christine Macdonald
About Christine Macdonald
Christine Macdonald is a Los Angeles based author from the island of O’ahu.
Through her writing she uses her voice, a unique blend of cutting truth and self-deprecating humor to inspire others to release their shame and tell their story.
She is public about her struggles with clinical depression and PTSD from childhood abuse.
Her forthcoming book of essays about surviving addiction and a career in the sex industry will be published in 2020.
For more on Christine’s remarkable story visit her website www.poletosoul.com.
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13 thoughts on “The Knowing”
I bet Elizabeth Gilbert didn't even know she'd become Elizabeth Gilbert. You really never know!
Trying to realise your passion..is not easy and I am learning it. It might take a lifetime though
Those might of been tears of relief as you have overcome much to get there. Trust me on this, there were others in the room with the same thoughts of doubt as you. You have taken many bold steps lately.
Something tells me you will come away from this conference a better person.
That is cool. So far, I know I am here to write messages on dirty car hoods, but I haven't figured much else out yet. But I'm on it.
I TOTALLY get it! Well said, and be strong in your heart's journey :)Jeff Emmerson – Author of "The Road To Myself" – A Gritty, Reflective and Inspiring Memoir to be Published in 2011.
That is so awesome!I bet you looked amazing with no makeup!
Wasn't it a great conference? I'm now even more in awe of Nathan than I was before. He's so positive. I feel inspired, too. So glad you could make it!
She who dares to dance unashamedly, wear no make-up and cry loudly to find the joy in crisp air….. has my vote for smile of the day. 2 bonus points for Elizabeth Gilbert link. Well done. Well done, indeed.
Thanks everyone. Yes, it was a fantastic conference. I am so blown away with this new world I am in. Looking forward to what the future holds.
*happy sigh* finding your spot in live – even if you may not fully realize it (though I'm sure you will) is amazing!!!
It just makes me wish even more I'd been with you. I promise, next time. Hey, drop me a line, when you have a chance. I want to hear everything.