Since I‘ve been sick and just out of the hospital this week I needed help. Kevin has been a fantastic nurse, voice of reason, assistant, and all around phenomenal boyfriend.
In my stripping years I had a different type of man in my life. He dealt drugs, cheated on me openly, and told me point blank: I will never walk side by side with you because of your skin (I have scars covering my face from my teens and even after surgery, I was still called Freddy Kruger). He didn’t want to be seen with me in public.
Can you believe that? How low a person’s self-esteem must be to allow them to be in a relationship like that. I’m not sure I allowed so much as he dictated to me – and there was the matter of the drugs I was quickly becoming addicted to.
After many years and lessons, I am learning to let in the good ones. Kevin is not only my “good one”, he’s my soul mate.
Let the good one’s love you. They treat us the way we want to be treated and better yet, the way we deserve to be.
I had a friend once tell me I was a Goddess. You know what? I believe it. We all should.
“Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt
Here’s the part where you tell me: When did you feel you were worth more?
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Published by Christine Macdonald
About Christine Macdonald
Christine Macdonald is a Los Angeles based author from the island of O’ahu.
Through her writing she uses her voice, a unique blend of cutting truth and self-deprecating humor to inspire others to release their shame and tell their story.
She is public about her struggles with clinical depression and PTSD from childhood abuse.
Her forthcoming book of essays about surviving addiction and a career in the sex industry will be published in 2020.
For more on Christine’s remarkable story visit her website www.poletosoul.com.
View all posts by Christine Macdonald
Christine Macdonald 
You are one in my eyes!
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Great post…I agree…wishing you a great 2011
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I don't have anything profound or even particularly enlightening to say. I am happy for you and that you were able to realize that you deserved better from a person who said that they loved you. Not to mention from yourself.Have a happy and HEALTHY New Year!!
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I was always fortunate to be a performing musician – singer, pianist, etc. This provided me with a ton of validation, and while I struggled with the insecurities and confusion of adolescence, I only ever had one boyfriend who I look back on and think, "Wow. What a weird place I must have been in to have let him into my life." Oddly, it has been motherhood that has been the greatest source of dipping self-esteem for me. Some women seem to just 'get it'. I have always 2nd guessed every decision I've made. My kids are great, and nearly grown, but even now I chalk that up to luck more than superior parenting! Go figure.
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p.s. Hope you're on the mend. Happy New Year!
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Darlin! I've been out of the loop. I'm so sorry I didn't know you'd been ill. Your email said gall bladder? I'm going to check around here, see what's going on. I'm so glad you have a good man who worships you and your worth. I have one of those, too. I'll shoot you an email shortly. Feel better!
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I hope that you continue to feel better and that the new year brings you good health and of course happiness. It seems that every time I read your posts I am left thinking I could have written what you wrote. I have wasted far too many years of my life accepting and allowing treatment that was less then acceptable. I did not learn that I was worth more until about 6 years ago. Now, like you, I have a man that treats me good.Happy 2011 to you and yours. It makes me happy that you learned you are worth it!
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WOW! Thank you so much for the lovely comments and well wishes. It truly means the world to me. Happy New Year! xxoo
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You give me hope, darlin'. Feel better!!!
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awe =)I'm glad you two found each other =)
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Your post made me smile so much this morning.
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