After that last post I realize – I can’t end the day on a depressing note.
For those of you who don’t know, one of my old friends from Hawaii took his own life on Sunday. He battled depression and lost. I feel for his family and so many of us friends but I cannot let this bring me back to my own depression. I must continue to Choose Happy – even when heartbroken by such tragic news.
After being in a haze last night and most of this morning I decided to focus on the happy memories my friend and I shared. I found my smile again and tried to focus at the office as best I could.
The lunch hour rolled in and I made every excuse I could think of to opt out of going to the gym: “Give yourself a break”, “you’re exhausted”, “it’s okay to skip today”, “you can work out twice as hard tomorrow” – and on and on.
Then something happened.
I thought about my friend who passed away and I began to get angry. I am angry his life was cut short because of his depression and pissed off he didn’t want to fight it any longer. I thought about all the many times I wanted to give in – and have given in – until I knew I was in trouble. This anger propelled me to get up from my office chair, grab my keys and sunglasses and drive to the gym.
I had a great workout because of how pissed off I was. Also, I thought about how grateful I am for so many things, especially to be alive. I guess anger and gratitude can spin in to a kick ass cardio day.
So tell me – what are you grateful for?
Christine Macdonald 
I am grateful for the opportunity to live another day. For 30 years I did my best to snuff out my life w/booze/drugs and finally a failed suicide attempt that put me in a coma for over a week. When I woke up I thought it was the worst day of my life. I had once again…failed. That day June 6, 2006 is my sobriety date. The last time I drank or drugged. So the "worst" day of my life was actually the beginning of a NEW life. Funny how that works…
LikeLike
WOW. Your story is amazing. Thank you (as always) for your honesty and comment love. :)I am happy you "failed" on June 5, 2006.
LikeLike
Touching story and it hits home. I must admit I have treaded there a few times, as I think many of us have. I had to force myself to believe things would get better, until they actually did get much better. Any yes, it does get better.Charlie Chaplin said it best, "Nothing is permanent in this wicked world…not even our troubles."
LikeLike
To start with, I am grateful I don't need any assistance getting out of bed in the morning.I, too, have a sobriety date. More importantly I know that without today, none of the other sober days mean anything.
LikeLike
I'm sorry about your friend. But I do like how you chose to redirect your thoughts and use them to get motivated. I hope that by remembering the positives about him brings a smile to your face.
LikeLike
I am grateful to want to live, and to have wonderful friends that help keep me that way.I'm so sorry to hear about this, and sorry I am just now getting by to say, and have been awol from the blogosphere until recently, I'm trying to get back.Love to you… and R.I.P. to your friend.
LikeLike