I wish I would have known
I would have shared my tale
The times I felt darkness and heard echoes of my heart beat – only to wish it wouldn’t
I wish I would have seen one last time
That beaming smile beneath your pain
Magnetic, to all of us – we swam inside your warmth
But wishing means nothing after last call
Wishes didn’t save you – didn’t break your fall
Still, I wish
and wish I may
Why didn’t you reach out?
What couldn’t you say?
Rest in peace, dear friend
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Published by Christine Macdonald
About Christine Macdonald
Christine Macdonald is a Los Angeles based author from the island of O’ahu.
Through her writing she uses her voice, a unique blend of cutting truth and self-deprecating humor to inspire others to release their shame and tell their story.
She is public about her struggles with clinical depression and PTSD from childhood abuse.
Her forthcoming book of essays about surviving addiction and a career in the sex industry will be published in 2020.
For more on Christine’s remarkable story visit her website www.poletosoul.com.
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Christine Macdonald 
Christine? Are you all right? I think I need to back up and read what's going on in your life.
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Thanks DeNae – I am going well. Just heard news of an old friend from Hawaii taking his own life Sunday night. I'm heartbroken but my own depression is at bay, thank goodness. xxoo
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