In high school, I tried to put so many circles in to squares I got dizzy.
There was the Goth look I tried to master with black eye-liner and hair. The Polynesian Music Club I tried to hang out with in between Tahitian dance lessons and the canoe paddling club. Let’s not forget the cheer leading girls. I tried out three years in a row for that silly little squad – only to be denied what I thought was my natural calling – year after year. If you think about it, If I had my way, I would have been a Tahitian dancing cheer leader who listened to The Cure. Sounds perfect to me!
Most of my trying too hard was a direct result of living with imperfect skin. I felt like I needed to show more personality to accommodate what was lacking in physical beauty. But what I really needed to do was stop trying so hard and just be myself. That’s the golden rule of life isn’t it? Learning to love who we are?
Nowadays, after nine surgeries on my skin and many therapy sessions later, I am happy to say I am comfortable with myself in a way I never imagined.
It’s an amazing thing to realize our imperfections are what make us beautiful.
I guess we all try to fit in when we are young, but isn’t there a little part of us that still wants to as adults?
Here’s the part where you tell me: Have you ever tried to fit in?
8 thoughts on “Fitting in”
I have never fit into any box, either. But fortunately I have always been comfortable with who I am. Thought I never had any skin problems or weight issues to deal with, there was always enough other names for kids to call me. Then you have the inner prejudice that exists in a minority group… like the stupid thing black people think when a brother or sister doesn't conform to the orthodoxy.Said all that and it never made putting up with the mess any easier… the lingering effects still show up from time to time. Just rode it out until things got better…
In school I didn't really fit in with any particular group. I certainly tried to but I usually ended up with friends from a couple of different circles… choir kids, theater troupe, German club, wrestlers… I'll tell you what though, it made for some really interesting parties at my house!
@BigMark – Yes, riding it out. That seems to be the only thing one can do it times like high school – trying to put all the messy stuff behind us. @Rache – I bet! I would have loved to been a fly on the way at your house! Thanks for taking the time to comment. It means a lot. 🙂
My middle school best friend and I were nerds. Then all of a sudden, she dyed her bangs blonde (like John Taylor from Duran2) and became super popular as an alterna-chick. So, I asked her if she'd take me shopping and "show me how to be punk." She never talked to me again.At least I'm cool now, er, right?
Yes you are! What amazing stories we all have from those days. People all trying to find themselves… Duran Duran hair and all.
Yes. I've often tried to "fit in". Sometimes I feel like I'm wearing a billboard on my forehead blaringly announcing "PLEASE ACCEPT ME!"With my new thing, the roller derby, I decided to just be myself which is cheerful and encouraging. And I encourage every girl even if the "cool" thing to do is to remain quiet. I'm like a little nerdy cheerleader. And you know what?Now other girls are honing into my style. Cheering others. And when it's my turn to do stuff I hear them all cheering me on. Yay! Such fun to just rely on who you are and trust it to take you places…ツ my cyber house rules dot com
Niki! How I LOVE this new Roller Derby thing you are in to! 🙂 I'm a "cheer'er" too and would be right there with you. "Whip It" was one awesome movie…
I believe that everyone of us always has a good side that sometimes fails to appreciate. It is not the physical beauty, but ..it is the personality of the person that is more main point.But we can not forget that the "beauty" is part of our world. The cat in the photo ..I think it does not share our opinion.