Alice fell down the rabbit hole and
found Wonderland, what will an
ex-stripper find going back to the club?

My thoughts are chasing memories today – threaded within the walls of reason – I try and remember to breathe.

This time tomorrow I will be on a plane home to Honolulu.

I plan on making the most of my short trip. There’s family time, dinner with friends and of course, Peter’s Celebration of Life event on Sunday.

Then there is something else. I am going back to the strip bars where I worked. Not to work (silly readers), but as an observer of a world I lived in so long ago. I’m diving head first – down the rabbit hole of my past.



Club Femme Nu – One of the clubs I will be visiting


Writing my memoir about the nine years I worked as a stripper is proving to be more of an emotional journey than I suspected. Tapping in to that 19 year old girl, so insecure and broken, is not an easy task and I am often blocked. The fact that I will be a stone’s throw away from the club where I used to work is a wonderful opportunity for me and I plan on making the most of it.

It’s going to be an unpredictable outcome – sitting in the bar where I used to work. I will order a drink, watch the ladies dance – and soak in the memories. If I am lucky, I will meet some of the girls and chat with them about their world. Maybe they’ll laugh at me, a middle-aged woman trying to tap in to a long lost world. Maybe they won’t believe me – that I was once one of them. Perhaps I will connect with someone who wants to listen to my personal story. Or I may just chicken out and run away at the front door.

Whatever the outcome, I will be blogging about it and posting photos on my Twitter page.

I hope you come along for the journey – and please wish me luck!

11 comments

  1. Christine, This will be a wonderful opportunity for you to explore,learn and grow. It's very important, I think, to go back to that part of our lives that had such an impact on us, whether good or bad. It has to be a growing experience! I wish you luck!

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  2. Good luck on your journey – it will be interesting to see how thngs turn out!! I'm not sure if I've ever commented here, but I have been a reader for a long time. Wishing you the very best!

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  3. I meant what I said in our little e-mail exchange last night. Call me if you need a bit of 'shoring up.' This could be a wonderful time for you. But there may be a land mine or two. Memory lane tends to be laced with them.

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  4. @kmcaffee – Thank you so much for the comment and well wishes. It means a lot to me when readers surface in the comments. I'm so happy you did. @DeNae – Thanks love. I may take yo up on that… I hear you about those land mines. xxoo

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  5. Were you born in Hawaii? If not, at what age did you move there?Just remember when visiting Hawaii, pain has NO POWER over you unless you let it. You are SMART, STRONG, BEAUTIFUL and WORTHY of every good thing in life. You have come a long way. Keep moving forward.Enjoy the Hawaiian sun and maybe a manapua for the rest of us 🙂

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