My thoughts are chasing memories today – threaded within the walls of reason – I try and remember to breathe.
This time tomorrow I will be on a plane home to Honolulu.
I plan on making the most of my short trip. There’s family time, dinner with friends and of course, Peter’s Celebration of Life event on Sunday.
Then there is something else. I am going back to the strip bars where I worked. Not to work (silly readers), but as an observer of a world I lived in so long ago. I’m diving head first – down the rabbit hole of my past.
|Club Femme Nu – One of the clubs I will be visiting|
Writing my memoir about the nine years I worked as a stripper is proving to be more of an emotional journey than I suspected. Tapping in to that 19 year old girl, so insecure and broken, is not an easy task and I am often blocked. The fact that I will be a stone’s throw away from the club where I used to work is a wonderful opportunity for me and I plan on making the most of it.
It’s going to be an unpredictable outcome – sitting in the bar where I used to work. I will order a drink, watch the ladies dance – and soak in the memories. If I am lucky, I will meet some of the girls and chat with them about their world. Maybe they’ll laugh at me, a middle-aged woman trying to tap in to a long lost world. Maybe they won’t believe me – that I was once one of them. Perhaps I will connect with someone who wants to listen to my personal story. Or I may just chicken out and run away at the front door.
Whatever the outcome, I will be blogging about it and posting photos on my Twitter page.
I hope you come along for the journey – and please wish me luck!