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Being obsessive is a pain in the ass.

In the last two weeks I have submitted two essays; one was to Salon and the other to the New York Times. I’m beside myself with angst.

What if I were published? What if I’m not? What if, what if.

I don’t need anyone to tell me I am being obsessive. My gastrointestinal track lets me know just fine. On the upside, I think I’ve lost some weight with all the excitement.

It’s been said the trick with this whole writing thing is to submit and let go. How does one do this? Where do I sign up?

I hang on so much I get blisters. Not just with columns I am hoping to get published. I allow things in my life to fester – I Google old boyfriends (for no reason other than idle curiosity). I look back so much I need a rear-view mirror for my obsessions.

So tell me – are you a hanger-on-er or do you learn to let things go?

I’d love to hear your stories on how you handle waiting for news.

13 comments

  1. I think our personality controls that part of us. Some people just naturally let everything roll of their back, while others worry themselves into oblivion.Hmmmm, for me it depends on what it is. The weight of the issue and how much it matters to me dictates how much I worry about something. I'm pretty much laid back, so most things don't stick with me. My wife? HA, that's another matter. She lays awake all night long thinking of every possible angle to every little thing.

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  2. There are many levels of obsession that we all have in our lives. You are in the midst of a rather large one and attention to detail is a must. If your obsessions cause other pain or discomfort, that calls for careful consideration. You are fine, me, that is another story fellow Scorpio!ha ha

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  3. I have come to a point where my attitude is: regardless what happens, tomorrow will be another day with new opportunities. There is always anxiety involved in these things but you need to learn to deal with before it becomes so overwhelming it hurts you and interferes with your life. Do Yoga, meditation, exercise, talk to friends, go shopping, or whatever, but don't let it take over you.

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  4. I don't wait well at all. I'm currently waiting for a snail mail letter that will tell me if I have completed something. It has been a long 3 weeks!!!

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  5. I love reading this kind of post because it lets me know I'm not alone in how I feel after a submission. I'm usually able to put the submission out of my mind for a week or so, but then I start wondering when or if I'll get a reply. The waiting definitely gets to me!

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  6. I don't handle it at all. I am exactly like you. Submissions have to potential to cause ulcers. I put them off because I hate "no thank you, but it was lovely" letters. And yet….I need to get over it. I need to start submitting again. I need to keep in mind how many years of rejection letters the likes of Chuck Bukowski received before anyone ever published him. And all the rejections in between. I need to stop being so obsessive in other areas of my life as well.

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  7. I don't handle waiting at all. I am like a dog in that when it comes to waiting time there is now and right now. Worse, when I have to give in order to get, I don't necessarily give my best. I give my quickest. that's not good because many times it's sloppy, too.

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  8. I guess it depends on the situation but I mostly let things go. Maybe I'm a little too care free, I don't worry about things, I figure they will work themselves out.

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