.

One of the reasons I adore my therapist is that she gives me homework. Not only does she help me face my shit in her office, she helps me piece together the rough edges of my emotional puzzle when I am home alone with my thoughts.

I’ve had nearly two weeks to write a letter to my 13-year-old self. Two weeks of mulling over what I would say.

13 is my magic number. It’s the age I was diagnosed with Stage Four Acne Vulgaris. Within a year, my face (and parts of my body) were covered in lesions and my new name in school was Freddy Krueger. It’s also the age I lost my virginity. I didn’t so much lose it, as it was taken away. And just like that, my puzzle fell apart.

I just completed the letter, and am amazed. I told that girl things I need to hear today.

Love, does not equal shame.

To feel wanted, does not equal being used.

Loving yourself does not mean feeling hurt.

The dark corners of my childhood are finally coming to light, as I discover the choices I am making as an adult are a direct reflection of my past.

Being honest with ourselves isn’t always easy, but it’s the only way we can break free from the darkness that holds us back.

So tell me: what would you tell your 13-year-old self?


“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

8 comments

  1. It wasn't easy for me to break the ice and write a letter to my 13-year-old self. I listened to her memory, and from there, started to write. I agree with you – it's not a bad thing to listen to ourselves – even at such a young age. The answers are sure to be enlightening.

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  2. Hmmm… a letter to my 13 year-0ld self…I would tell me that…* The people who will hurt you the most in your Life will be those who have professed to love you.* Be sure to tell your Mom how much you love her… and hug her every time you get a chance, because, right now you have NO idea how much you are going to miss her when she's gone.* When your Mother shares a secret with you about your Dad, don't be so hard on him. How you treat your Dad afterwards will be one of your greatest regrets.* Don't be afraid of being hurt by women.* Otherwise, maintain the same standards that you have set for yourself… all in all, you aren't going to be too disappointed.Wow, Christine… this wasn't easy…~shoes~

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  3. Thank you for the thoughtful question… I've kind of have been 'stuck' emotionally lately… this made me think about some things that I am now writing about in my journal… maybe in that sense, it will be cathartic for me…I do hope all is well for and with you…~shoes~

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  4. I would say that later on in life this will seem like the good old days. You will partake in life's roller coaster of success and failures and you will wonder how you get through it all but you will.

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  5. YOU are God's delight, God's pride and joy, and are worthy of all of His blessings!Before all else fails… read your Bible and find out that all else fails.What do you have to lose?

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