Sexy is as Sexy does: Is there such a thing as Type?


I was hanging out in the Twitterverse the other night and read a tweet asking: “Do you have a type?” This tweet came from a professional matchmaker, so I only assume it was for market research. Still, I had to wonder.

When it comes to sexual attraction, is there such as thing as a Type? 

I used to be attracted to bad boys, which I think is a direct correlation between my lack of self-esteem at the time and the fact my step-dad was an ass. Perhaps this was a normal stage of teenage rebellion, but I loved breaking rules and the dudes who came with it.

A little later in life I gravitated toward intellect. I dated Gerry who was kind of a social misfit, but a member of Mensa, which I loved. Chalk it up to the fact I was finally out on my own, away from my home town and experiencing new ideologies, but I really dug smart men. I found it sexy when Gerry nailed every category on Jeopardy, when I was still trying to figure out where Louis XIV died in 1715 during the closing credits.

By the time I reached my thirties, I found myself attracted to Metrosexuals. No longer drooling for the cigarette smoking rebels or quirky braniacs, I lusted for a man who knew his way around a well tailored suit and the nearest Banana Republic. The sharper, the better. And if he smelled as fresh as he looked, I was a goner.

My love life seemed to shock everyone I knew when I turned 40. I dated Kevin, a transgendered man (born female, has transitioned to male). Those who know me well, know I’ve dipped in the lady pond during my party years as a stripper, but even this was surprising. What I fell for in Kevin was his loving heart and kindness beyond measure.

Every person I was with was part of an amazing journey to myself; major lessons were learned and I am thankful for the experiences. But who the hell am I attracted to now? I’d like to think a little piece of my dating past had weaved its way in to the fabric of my Sexy Barometer today.

I am drawn to someone who:

  • Lives with conviction (the modern day bad boy)
  • Is witty (nothing sexier than a smart, funny man)
  • Takes care of himself (I still melt when I see a well dressed man)
  • Has character (someone who does the right thing, even when no one is watching)

I won’t get in to chemistry, because who the hell knows why we are drawn to one person versus another when it comes to naked play time.

So there you have it. I guess I do have a type. Mr-Well-Dressed-Witty-Nice-Guy-With-An-Edge.

What’s yours?


7 thoughts on “Sexy is as Sexy does: Is there such a thing as Type?

  1. Almost every guy I've ever dated has been different than every other guy. For the longest time I thought maybe I didn't have a type at all. Then I started doing yearly lists detailing who I am and what I wanted out of a partner (here is 2011's: From these lists, I now see I definitely have a type. It isn't related to looks–it goes more to the core of who a person is.


  2. @Anonymous – The sense of humor is a must!@Trixie – Oh, I will have to read your post and page. Thanks for stopping by. @IT – That's exactly why I am asking the question – I don't think anyone is typecasting on conscious level. But it does seem we gravitate to similar types of people with similar character traits.


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