Sabotage, Party of One


Last night was the Gay Super bowl. A night to see and be seen in Hollywood. And if you weren’t as lucky as my BGF (Best Gay Friend), Joey – who I kept seeing on TV – you enjoyed the Oscars in your living room while toasting the fashion and your favorite movies and actors.

I don’t even need to see the nominated films to really get in to the fantasy of it all. Not only do I enjoy losing myself in the glamour, I love it when someone gets the award and truly wasn’t expecting it. The look of sheer joy (and shock) makes my heart melt. And yes, I tear up. Every. Single. Time.

Like most people, Sunday’s are my day to chill. After a long sleep-in-snuggle-fest with my pillow, I stroll to the market for groceries so I can later prep my lunches for the work week. Well, because of Oscarpolooza, I kicked those plans to the curb and made what food I already had in the house. I also started raising my glass during the red carpet footage while it was still light out.

Being a recovering addict, I am fully aware drinking wine is not the smartest thing for me to do. Although alcohol is not my drug of choice, it is still, in fact, a mind altering chemical. In typical Scorpio fashion, I still enjoy a glass or two with dinner or a hot bath at the end of a stressful day. It could be worse. I could be trolling Craigslist for Vicodin and Xanax.

So I stick with red wine, meditation and exercise to keep my stress at bay. I hope you still love me, Dr. Drew.

Another great stress reliever for me is sleep. I need at least eight full hours of blissful slumber in order to function well. Last night I managed to get only five. I can blame it on the Oscar post coverage, or the free-flowing wine, but really, it’s all on me. I manage to self-sabotage often. It’s funny, because the one thing I know will help me is the very thing I keep myself from attaining. I have to laugh to keep from crying. Needless to say, I’m a zombie at work today.

Please tell me you have self-sabotage behaviors too.


4 thoughts on “Sabotage, Party of One

  1. Sleep is a killer. I turn into a weepy mess if I accrue too much of a sleep deficit throughout the week. I think I self-sabotage with my control freak-isms. I know I need to ask for help sometimes, but I can't quite let go of my grip on a project or situation. And it ends in frustration every time. Which is why I, too, love red wine. 😉


  2. Too much junk food, too little moving around. Being a full-time writer is not good for the physique, but it's not the reason I look like the Sta-Puft Marshmallow (wo)Man.


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