In catching up with a close friend, I was asked a familiar question: “did you ever do that?” He was talking about porn after I made a joke about something and referenced 70s porn.

Having been retired from the stripper world for over a decade, it’s been a while since I was asked about those indelible x-rated lines and if I ever crossed them.

FUCK NO!!”

“It’s a fair question…”

He was right.

Grouping together all types of sex work is a natural thought. Although I never had sex as part of my stripping career, people assume because you sell it, even as a visual fantasy, you’re doing it.

Stripping is sex work. It’s a living, breathing Playboy Magazine, (or Penthouse, if you’re near the airport), and I see nothing wrong with peeps who appreciate a beautiful woman, grabbing her ankles in the nude. I don’t even see anything wrong with prostitution or adult films – if all parties are adults, and happy.

Did I know gals who crossed the stripping line to porn? Sure. But that was their business and I didn’t think any less of them. It just wasn’t for me.

In the nude clubs where I worked in Hawaii, there was no table dancing allowed. I didn’t have to touch anyone, let alone feel their Mr. Happy during a dance. There were no lap-dances, no VIP rooms. All our money was made on stage in tips, and if we had a customer who wanted to buy us champagne or a cocktail, we’d sit and shoot the shit with them. Most of my big-ticket nights were due to my ability to ham it up with customers, drinking champagne, and making them laugh. In a sea of naked centerfolds, personality really did go a long way.

In talking more with my friend, I had a thought:

People assume shit all the time – and not just in the stripping world.

.

How many of us have seen a heavily tattooed person and instantly made a judgment? There are a million scenarios where we may assume things based on what we experience that may or may not be true.

I’m happy my friend felt comfortable enough to ask me if I ever did porn. It shows his level of trust and respect for me, and after I checked my judgment at the door with my knee-jerk “fuck no!” reaction, we enjoyed a good laugh.

Everyone has a story – it’s the people who ask about them without judgment, that open up an honest dialogue to help make the world a much more interesting and authentic place.

Here’s the part where you tell me: have you ever naturally assumed something about anyone only to learn you were off?

6 comments

  1. More often then not I find that if I make a quick judgement of someone based solely on their looks and then I later actually get to know them, I will find my initial judgment to be way off the majority of the time. But if I meet someone, have a conversation and listen to them, allowing a reasonable opinion to form, that it is usually a lot closer to reality.

    I used to be (and still can be if i don’t watch it!) so freaking impulsive about everything including rushing into inaccurate judgement’s about people. I have had to learn how to listen to folks and I work hard at it…It’s worth it….I believe that has probably made the biggest difference for me. I am a lot less likely to slam the door on people until I actually give them a chance.

    Like

  2. Totally! I think we’ve all made assumptions at one point or another. The assumptions that I find I’ve made the most, are those regarding trustworthiness and I’ve learned some hard lessons as a result. But in terms of who a person is or their experience, I think when you’re a target of a lot of misleading presumption yourself, you tend to be a lot more open to the possibility that the cover of the book has nothing to do with its’ contents.

    Thanks for sharing your story, and of course this one in particular. 😉

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s