I’m starting my own fragrance line, and calling it Contradiction.
.
It’ll smell of strength and weakness, with just a hint of denial and accountability. Included, will be a gift with purchase: a bag of keys that unlock your memory to all the times you made mistakes – only to do the exact same things again.
.
When it comes to personal experiences, I am the ultimate self-saboteur. The star of my own one-woman show about a gal who trips up every now and then, picks herself up, then goes back to follow in the exact footsteps which caused her to trip in the first place. Who needs a supporting cast with that much Crazy?
.
Is it me, or does life get more entertaining as we get older?
.
When we’re young, we have circus clowns, birthday parties and scavenger hunts to keep us enthralled. As we age, some of our adult activities become land minds of lessons, and if we’re paying attention, we keep moving forward.
.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been close to succeeding at something, only to place a tourniquet on the situation to stop the mojo before I’ve reached my goal.

I’ve been working on my book for a couple of years now, and although it’s coming along, it’s far from complete. So what’s taking so long? Is it fear of failure – or even worse – fear of success that keeps me from finishing?

This morning I was interviewed by Power Women Magazine, and was asked a simple question:

Why are you writing your story?

I replied that I want my story to hit a nerve with anyone who feels less than. Then it hit me – even though I’ve come a long way, there’s still part of me who feels I’m not good enough to complete this book. Contradiction: the newest fragrance by Kiki Klein.

I’m spending so much time and energy promoting myself and building my platform, I get lost in the fantasy of already having done the work.

It’s the same with life – sometimes we skip past the hard part, living in denial that there’s even work to be done on ourselves – we end up living in a bubble. Or, we worry so much about what other people think, we avoid being real all together. We come off as strong, but inside, we’re really living Stepford lives.

After the interview, I shared a little about the call with a close friend. He’s a fantastic cheerleader, and has no doubt I’ll succeed. It’s great to have friends who are in your corner, and can see things our self-doubt causes us to miss, but what’s most important is that we believe in ourselves. The only way to do that – is to actually do the work.

Thoughts?

17 comments

  1. Yeah… I'm thinking fear of success… we self sabotage ourselves sometimes… we commit the same mistakes over and over that we swore we would never do…But, keep your target/goal in front of you and continue to move toward it… you WILL get there!:o)~shoes~

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  2. Do the work and get your book finished!!! You have an interesting/captivating story to tell that many will want to read. You will find the completion of your book to be the best therapy of all, and an enormous weight lifted from your shoulders. JUST DO IT! Congratulations in advance!

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  3. I think you have a fascinating story to tell, one I would be drawn into. Because life is a story…and we have to look back at ourselves with so much more kindness than we do, and realize the heroes that we truly are.I say GO FIGHT WIN. I want to read the words you put down.

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  4. " fear of failure – or even worse – fear of success "For me, a large part of self-sabotage is the self fulfilling thought that I don't deserve to be happy. I often feel like I am a fraud, and if I get too successful, and people start to really look at me, they will discover the reality hidden behind the act.

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  5. This is so well said. Do you know how many times I’m a victim of my own brain? And I know I’m doing it (that’s the first step, right?) Even thought i sometimes think I’m not progressing, I look back and see I’m still evolving. It may be a snail’s pace, but it is still forward movement!

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    1. Oh, I am so happy I’m not the only one. Reminds of the quote “even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.”

      Thanks for finding – commenting – and following! xo

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  6. Love this post– and feel the same in many ways about the fear of failure/success. You write beautifully and from your heart, I have no doubt your story with touch nerves. Beyond touching nerves, I bet you will help people get over hurdles, and get themselves out of tight spaces and bad situations–sometimes you need a push. I think your words could be that push. You are a good person.

    Keep at it, Kiki! Looking forward to that book.

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