Show and tell

Any time we come out the other side of darkness, it’s important to put a voice to our journey. Whether we tell a friend, write an article, volunteer in the community, or allow ourselves to be interviewed. It’s a way to let others know – they are not alone.

Even if you think your situation isn’t that bad – I promise you – someone out there is feeling your pain, and what a relief to know they’re not the only one!

If you’re a parent, sites like Babble and Plugged In Parents may be in your web browser’s favorites. If you’re clutter-challenged, you probably know about The Organizing Junkie.  Anyone with cancer in their lives will truly appreciate people like Linda and her Blessed With Cancer page.

However big or small the challenge, someone has been there, and is sharing their story with an undying heart and desire to help anyone who feels like they can’t make it through.

Tomorrow is a big day for me. I’ll be in Hollywood, the subject (one of them, anyway) of a television interview for a talk show pilot. It’s not my show, but when the producers contacted me, asking if I’d be willing to share my story, I gladly accepted. If this series gets picked up – FABULOUS! If not, I’ll have a nice piece of film to add to my media collection. Either way, I’m happy to spill the beans.

If you’re a new reader, and wondering what the deal is – I’m basically a survivor of an interesting trifecta: father abandonment, sexual abuse, and a skin disease (on my face). Those are cards I was dealt as a child. The reason I was born with an emotional deficit. Add to that mix, some significant life choices, and you’ve got a drugged-up stripper living in a bubble of narcissism and denial. Hot Mess, party of one.

It took me years to pop that bubble, but when I did – I realized I wanted to help anyone suffocating from their choices, feeling trapped, like there’s no way out of the life they built, based on the tools they were given as a child.

In prepping for tomorrow, I was asked to dig up some old photos. I already have a handful posted on my Facebook page and website, but the producers wanted me to dig a little deeper. They wanted to know if I had pictures from my first (there were a total of nine) corrective surgery at age 16. After realizing I had none, I reached out to my old surgeon’s office in Honolulu to see if they kept records that far back.

Would you believe they did? I was amazed, and scared shitless. This would be the first time I’d see my pre-op photos from 1985.  I’ve spent a lifetime trying to erase the memory of that girl – and now I was literally coming face-to-face with her.

Within hours, I received an email. My heart froze. My stomach flipped. I clicked, then saw. Seconds turned in to minutes, and all I could do was stare. I wanted to hug that young girl, her sad eyes staring back at me. Tell her it will get better.

Tomorrow’s interview is a love letter to my 16-year-old self,  and to anyone feeling marginalized by circumstance.  My words will say: you don’t need the stripper pole or drugs to feel beautiful. It’s okay to pop your bubble, because true beauty exists in the space of freedom.

Here’s the part where you tell me – what would see, if you discovered an old photo of your 16-year-old self?


Update: I wrote about my interview with KirstyTV HERE.



24 thoughts on “Show and tell

  1. Good luck on your interview… anytime we share a story, there is someone that benefits from it. At least, that’s my thought about it.




  2. I got 1477 posts on my blog trying to explain what i’d see, What I’d feel and then what I’d say that to broken, tragic little boy whom I suspect had already decided there was either No God or if there was he wanted nothing to do with me and that the world Hated him. After all that, I haven’t even begun to close in on the TRUTH……


  3. Christine,

    You not only hook me with your courage and raw honesty, you leave me holding my breath as your story unfolds. My 16 year-old self was painfully shy and always trying to be someone else. Something profound happened between then and now and that’s where my story is Congratulations on your upcoming interview. How exciting and well-deserved! Indeed, you have a very important story to tell and the courage to tell it as only you can. You will give voice to so many others. Wishing you the best and looking forward to seeing where this takes you. Watch out Hollywood, here comes Christine!


  4. To you: warm fuzzy hugs of support and best wishes for your interview. To your 16 year old self – you will become an amazing woman, and an inspiration to others.

    To my 16 year old self? It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t deserve it. Tell someone, and get it dealt with. You deserve to be treated so much better. Don’t settle for any less.


  5. Ahhh! I’m so excited for you!!! That is an amazing opportunity! You are moving and shaking, sister! I can’t wait to hear all about it. Like Kathy said watch out hollywood! Look at how far you have come 🙂 xoxo Lina


    1. Thanks Claire! I’m still in the writing process, so, not for a while. In therapy to help me finish – some places are too dark to go back to on my own – but I will keep posting about it here!


  6. Your story is just so amazing. I’m so glad you’re out there as a voice that will speak to so many others.

    Next time you’re in Hollywood, you’ll have to let me know. I’ll treat you to an ice cream. 🙂


  7. Wow, just stumbled onto your blog via Twitter (I’m a bit late to the party!) and I’m so glad you’ve decided to share your story, struggles and ongoing triumph. So, to answer your question…I’d tell my 16 year old self to freaking believe, just believe. No dreams are too big. It sounds incredibly cheesy, but I started my writing career late in life and some days I wonder what would have happened if I had ignored my parents, majored in what I wanted and gone for gold. I would not have ended up miserable and swinging around a pole with a useless degree tucked into my garter. Then again, I don’t know. I don’t regret everything. As they say, the best writers have intense life experiences that fuel their words – that’s what makes them great.

    Glad to hear you’re working on a book. My friend just got hers published and is also based on life-threatening situations she endured and survived to tell. You’re a living inspiration – so impressed with what I’ve read so far. Thanks for sharing and good luck!


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