If you’re anything like me, when something sticks in your mind, you just know it’s for a reason. The Universe, she’s fun that way. Like earlier this week, when I nearly lost my mind, trying to find a crucially important legal document. I tore apart my office, car, kitchen – twice. In doing so I made tremendous strides in my quest to be more organized (I won’t even tell you how much junk I threw away).

After a mini-breakdown I shifted to damage control, trying to accept the harsh reality that this little piece of paper was lost forever. I Googled if and how I could replace it, hanging my head in self-loathing with every “this is a major problem” discovery.

The next day, defeated and mentally exhausted, I looked in the same envelope I dug through in a panic and wouldn’t you know I found it. The paper was simply flipped over, and I didn’t immediately recognize it.

Ok, Universe. Be more organized – got it.

After that excitement, you can see how I’m more aware of Life’s messages and lessons, which brings us back to my initial point of something being in your head for a reason.

I met Kirsty Spraggon during our pilot interview in Hollywood a few years ago, but I can’t shake part of our conversation.

We were talking about beauty and how isn’t something you can buy, beg for, borrow or even steal. It can’t be Botoxed, Lipo-sucked, rhinoplastied, or tummy-tucked. True beauty, we agreed, is so much more than the external validations we all seek. It really is born from deep within our spirit, lacing its fingers with self-love and respect – and no one has the power to diminish it but our own selves.

The interview continued and I candidly spoke about how I started stripping because back then, at 19, it made me feel beautiful. I measured Beauty by the amount of money I made on stage and how much applause I garnered. But like with anything we try to fill from the outside, my welcome-wagon of self-adoration began to dissolve in the reality of circumstance. What used to make me feel beauty, ended up stripping it away.

And then she asked me. A question so simple, so brilliant, I took pause to realize my answer.

“When do you feel most beautiful?”

My 19 year-old-self would’ve said on stage. In my 20s, I’d say something about who I was dating. But now. In my 40s:

“When I take care of myself and share laughter with loved ones – especially with my friends’ children.”

Translation? Self worth and truth.

So what’s The Universe’s plan as to why I keep thinking about this? Simple. I needed to share it with you – to ask you the same question – so you have the opportunity to learn or remind yourself what your Beauty is all about.

* * *

Here’s the part where you tell me: When do you feel beautiful? Let’s share, and show everyone – our answers may not be what people think.


24 thoughts on “When

  1. I’m tempted to go with something flippant, like “When do I not?”, but the serious answer is I don’t really think about it.
    I don’t worry about my appearance, and I’m generally comfortable in my own skin…

    But like you, my answer to that has also evolved over the years.


  2. I love it another well written beautiful piece. I think what is interesting is when I asked you that question… When do you feel most beautiful ? in my head beauty / beautiful was about when you feel happiest with how you look. But I realized in your answer and when I had to think about what my answer would be that when we feel beautiful isan’t always about a physical beauty. The answer for me would be – I feel beautiful when I am kind. When I get to help someone in some small way. Thanks gorgeous, anther awesome thought provoking blog. k x


  3. For me its was when for the first time I was able to accept a compliment in my late 40s.It wasn’t about my physical .Thats when I felt beautiful.


  4. When I first get up in the morning sleepy eyed, no make up, hair messy and the day before me. When I go to bed at night with a good book. When I speak my truth or live my truth. When I wear something that is comfortable. When the weather is warm and the sun warms my skin. When I sleep next to a man that I care about.


  5. I’m with Kirsty…

    I feel most beautiful when I am able to do something for someone else. Whether it be cooking someone’s favorite meal, letting someone cut in line ahead of me at the grocery store, holding the door open for an elderly person etc. It makes it fun for me when it’s kept a secret – like paying for a military man/woman’s meal at a restaurant without their knowledge (waitresses are great at keeping it a secret – love that!), buying lunch for a homeless person, leaving inspirational messages on a Post-It on a random bathroom mirror in whatever place I happen to be (you never know who needed that message at that very moment)… I could go on.

    I feel most beautiful helping others.


  6. Inner beauty? Maybe (and it sounds shallow, maybe because it is) when I can see that someone is totally charmed by me. When I feel loved, that is. It’s a very interesting question and a lovely post.


    1. I don’t think that’s shallow. It’s honest. And totally understandable. It’s always great to feel loved and appreciated – that’s a way to feel beautiful, for sure! Thanks for reading and commenting. xo


  7. Wow…I think I feel most beautiful inside when I know I’ve helped someone. I feel beautiful outside when I’ve done something to give my face a little flush – like a nice walk or gardening or sex. 🙂


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