Universe, you little bitch

These past few days have been a real meat grinder of fun. We all have ’em. Those moments in life where we feel…just…content…enough….and we allow ourselves space to slowly exhale. We maybe even release our seatbelt for a bit and settle into the idea that things are finally looking up. Then. As usual. Shit. Fan. Fun.

There’s no point in feeling sorry for ourselves. Although, I’ve become quite a master of my own agony, knowing all too well the tantalizing fragrance of despair when rolling around in my own pain.

When you suffer from clinical depression (and welcome to the fun house, if you do!), walking the tightrope of disappointment and sorrow without a safety net is like trying to ice skate on glass; but we always lace up. It’s a real blast and pretty hilarious if it weren’t so tragic.

The more breaths I take on this planet, the clearer my view on how much the universe is a fickle bitch. She means well, but really – do we need another lesson? Apparently.

I recently had the opportunity to meet one of my creative heroes, Jared Leto. We talked about how we handle the clean up of the blades when our fans are consistently getting pelted with shit. His point of view was luminous. It lit a fire deep inside my bones, reminding me that life owes us nothing and fuck if we can’t make the lows work for us.


“It seems so many of us are taught to feel that obstacles are a bad thing. I think they’re exactly what we need to push us through and reach even higher. When I grab my guitar and start strumming, most times I have no idea where I’m going. I just play.

When you’re writing and feel like your stuck, just keep showing up. Every day. You can’t have those breakthrough highs without going through the lows.”

Not only was our conversation a game-changer in terms of my personal creative dreams, the message that Jared so profoundly shared with me bled over into all areas of my life.

The next time Dame Universe decides to headbutt me into next Tuesday, I’m gonna do three things: allow myself to feel it, remember my strength, and spank her on the ass to say thanks.

“A trap is only a trap if you don’t know about it. If you know about it, it’s a challenge.”
            ― China Miéville, King Rat

19 thoughts on “Universe, you little bitch

  1. Jared is actually promoting the positive view of life as it is. Reminds me of a phrase written long ago by the woman who created The Beverly Hills Diet: “…those Oreos you crave are not leaving the planet”. …you know – just get through whatever it is you have been dealt and be ready for the next treat the Universe is ready to present you with.


  2. I must be a weird mutant being… Obstacles drive me so much! I dive into them like if they’re all huge adventures and I’m the star of my own movie.

    What brings me down is… the relentless little annoying ticks that won’t go away. Like applying for jobs over and over and ov-fucking-er and not getting any replies. Or being around grumpies as they just slowly suck the life out of me.

    Your writing sure gets better and better!

    p.s. I need to google Jared. I don’t know who he is. Yes, I’m ashamed of myself.


      1. he’s been taking mine for years. 🙂 So glad you got to stand close. I would have fainted. I always say he’s smart, his lyrics :), he’s beautiful I’m sure. Ok I’m done drooling haha


  3. I love your metaphors in this post. 🙂 And I’m super jealous you met Jared Leto. Loved him since I was a freshman in college. And reading how wise he is, I love him even more now.


  4. I have read that one of the qualities of a writer should be “the showing up”, committing to a set time to write and go from there… as far as the “black dog”, we each have one of our own to name, and it is the taming of it that allows us to master it, lest it run amok and bites our hand… therefore, do what is necessary, but never feed it..!


  5. Wow! I try very hard not to get starstuck… but I have such admiration for Jared Leto and would have been so nervous talking to him. Very cool you not only met him, but had a meaningful conversation.

    He’s right. We have to keep showing up. And your writing is wonderful, don’t doubt that. Your stories are deep and helpful to so many – you have to keep showing up for you and the readers who find hope in your words. Like me. Great post!


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