“You can only lose what you cling to.”
As I mentioned in a previous post about letting go, it can be anything but easy. Whether you’re moving to a new town, changing careers, going through a break up, or even cleaning out your closet, change is rarely without its challenges.
Some of us have no problem moving on. Out with the old is second nature. But for others, the idea of change is enough to make you hide under the covers.
It’s been said that the only way to move forward is to never look back; that instead of checking our personal rear-view mirrors from time to time, we should bash them with a fist full of determination while chanting the mantra “Live in the NOW.”
But what if the lessons you needed to learn are still in progress while you attempt to turn the page? What if there are parts of your past that actually were life-changing, monumental events that served your happiness and soul – and you are a better person for it?
Like everything in life – the trick is in the balance.
The only person who is equipped to decipher what we ought to let go of and what we should carry with us moving ahead, is us. Most of the time, in making these choices, we are emotional, off-kilter and just plain delusional. This makes our decision making anything but rational.
Have you ever stayed in touch with an old friend and one day, after yet another shining example of why you two should have left your hang-time in high school (because you have nothing in common) realize you actually don’t really enjoy one another?
How about when you clean your closet (or try to), and you realize half of the items cramming your hangers have not been your pant-size in years?
Whether it’s a not-like-minded friend from high school or a suit you haven’t been able to squeeze into since Murphy Brown was on the air – some of us just hang on.
However long you’ve been walking this earth – everything – every person – in your life has a story. Maybe you feel that if you stay connected to that high school friend, you’re keeping a part of yourself from a much simpler time. Perhaps tossing out the clothes you outgrew (literally) when you were younger will mean that you’ve given up on getting back in to shape.
It’s all a story.
Stories have layers.
It’s only when we’re ready to peel back those layers that we can truly evolve and move on. And if you’re not ready, then forgive yourself for the emotional abuse you’ve been creating with the expectations you should be.
This is YOUR story. Go at your own pace.
If someone is turning their page and you’re still marinating in your own shit, it’s time to stop comparing (read; Compared to WHAT?) and focus on your own proverbial book – which is amazing, heartbreaking, challenging, loving, scary, and bad ass. Just like you.