Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes

“I watch the ripples change their size
But never leave the stream
Of warm impermanence
And so the days float through my eyes
But still the days seem the same” – David Bowie


Lying under the covers, I check my phone to confirm the alarm feature is turned on. As I tally up the hours I will sleep before a new work week, I throw myself a mental high-five. A night owl by nature, my discipline of going to bed early (or on time) is something I’ve always struggled with. It’s been a lot easier ever since my love affair with the ingenious sleep and fitness tracker Oura Ring began.

It’s amazing how a piece of jewelry like the Apple Watch or Oura Ring can shake things up with our daily routine. Whether it’s accountability to our devices that track our progress or simply wanting to make our monetary investments work for us, whatever the reasons for change it’s always a good thing.

If only we had fitness jewelry to track our mental heath. Sure, there are mental health apps out there, but I’m talking about something more hard-core. A gadget with no sugar coated filter with a medical degree and psychology background customized for our particular issues. It would alert us before making toxic choices and repeating old patterns, and never judge us when we do.

As a former stripper (1987-1996) my therapy hole-punch card is so full, my next issue should be free. I’ve dug deep into the whys and hows of my story throughout my twenty-five years on and off the couch. No longer flailing through life as a victim, I now live my life as the survivor I am.

We are all in recovery from something.

Yet, even when we’ve done the work on ourselves and can see the light through our dark past, it feels like staying there is a constant battle. The balance of accepting life’s curve balls and knowing what we can actually change is constant. We feel like the only ones in the world stuck on the perpetual hamster wheel, faking it until we make it.

If only change was easy.

I’m reminded of the best-selling book, Who Moved My Cheese by Spencer Johnson. It’s a motivational story about facing fear and welcoming change no matter how hard. Some of us welcome change. Others, like myself tend to hit walls of fear and anxiety when faced with the inevitable forks in the road.

With another birthday upon me in November I will be 51. As happy as I am to be alive (surviving two types of cancer and living with an inoperable brain aneurysm), I sometimes feel defeated.  I’ve never been in (healthy) love. My fitness goals aren’t reached. The book I’ve been working on (about my life as a stripper and the lack of self-worth that took me there) is still a labor of love, yet to be published.

But if there’s one thing I’ve learned through the years – its that we all have more control than we realize. Remembering this truth comes in handy when we feel low and unworthy.

There’s a quote about change that’s been around for ages that I feel is worth repeating: Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes. So there you have it. When it comes to life (attaining goals, happiness and fulfillment) we have more control than we think. And all is takes is change. Who’s ready?

Here’s the part where you tell me:

What changes have you made – or are you planning on making – to reach your personal goals?

Please comment below. Your words may inspire someone!

One thought on “Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes

  1. I changed me. I used to be a sex worker. It got to the point where I had to, so I retrained as a makeup artist and worked my ***** off (something I learnt in the trade 🤣) and hustled my way to three salons across the uk.

    If anyone tells you a leopard cant change their spots. That’s bull****. I wouldn’t change them, but I can conceal, blend, prime and apply foundation so they’re more attractive for people not to notice.



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