The Incomparable Dr. Bigelow

Perspective is delicious. Comparison is dangerous. When you combine the two, sometimes you’ll find yourself in the middle of a Sports Guy Chest Bump with the type of nirvana only a three-legged dog and Charles Grodin can serve – Louis CK being the master chef of such delectable comedy cuisine.

It’s an acquired taste. You either satiate on the comedic texture of humanity and all her fucked up idiosyncrasies, or you don’t. For those who do, we find ourselves licking the fingertips of the rolling credits counting the days until we get another taste.

If you’re one of the millions of viewers who tuned in to the latest episode (six, season four) of Louie (Monday nights on FX), you’re picking up what Louis CK so sharply laid down.

Booya. It’s so obvious. Your life really doesn’t suck. Well, not as much as those guys. And you don’t hear them complaining, do you? Besides, as Grodin’s hilariously played apathetic Dr. Bigelow explains to a lost-boy-seaking-advice-Louie – nobody really

Christine Macdonald

Blow on this

Introspection is no picnic. Much more fun to live in the clouds, breathing in the intoxicating vapor of denial and frivolity. Getting high on the life we pretend to live has its moments, but there’s no mistaking the gnawing jabs in our gut when we know at some point, we gotta come clean. Bottom line – it’s never as good, or bad as we think.

 “The Only Thing That Is Constant Is Change ” ― Heraclitus 

Part of getting real is accepting change. She’s a fickle beast, cloaked in promises of new and exciting, but beneath her veil, lives the weight of logistical responsibilities and emotional adjustments. Nothing like the vibe of uncertainty to pop a pin in our balloon.

There’s an article in the Huffington Post currently circulating on Facebook called “The 18 Worst Things About Hawaii” which is pretty spot on. Being born and raised on O’ahu for 30 years, I relate to all eighteen, but number five hits close to the vest these days:

gb5. It’s a revolving door 

There is a lot of turnover in Hawaii; people move here for an adventure and then go back to “reality.” While this means you are always meeting new people, it also means that friends are constantly leaving. Be prepared for going away parties to be a social staple.”

Even though I’ve been living off the island for years, the pull on my heartstrings when a loved one moves away still carries weight; it takes me back to feelings of loss and longing I struggled with as a teenager.

Compound the fact my biological father bailed when I was a toddler, and you’ve got some serious abandonment issues. Even if you didn’t grow up in Hawaii, and dad was around, farewells are never easy.

So how do we come to terms with change when it comes to loved ones leaving our inner everyday circle? For starters, it’s a good idea to remember – it’s not all about us. Sure we’re affected, but let’s be honest – most things in life have very little to do with us. We just get caught in the fallout. Our world needs to adjust – and whether we like it or not, it eventually does.

Once you pull your head out of your ass and realize the universe has her master plan no matter how much you fight reality, you realize it’s time to step up. Show a little more support and compassion for your loved one who’s starting a new chapter. It’s never easy starting over – and wallowing in our feelings, instead of wrapping our hearts around the person who’s taking a leap of faith with their life is never a good color on us.

Here’s the thing – when it comes to the loves in our lives – whether they’re platonic, romantic or family – no amount of distance will subtract your bond, period.

I recently embraced one of my favorite people, bidding him farewell. As we held each other I felt the loss immediately. We’ve grown accustomed to folding our arms together, in-between wiping tears and snorting laughter. No longer will there be impromptu movie nights and pajama parties – wine soaked kisses and spontaneous Ferris Bueler days. What skin will my fingertips graze subconsciously as the hours float by in comfortable silence?

As our bodies let go and we collected our breath, he looked in my watery eyes, kissed the top of my head and spoke softly to my heart: “It’s just another zip code.” Even in his departure, he made my life easier.

As I write this post, I’m reminded of that scene. That this sacred, beautiful life of ours is to be explored with the very people who ignite our soul. The sooner we stop trying to understand it, the closer we are to really living – no matter how far apart our zip code.

Christine Macdonald

Logical or emotional: how do you fly?

A revision of original post from 2009
 
One of the only times I wish I were more logical than emotional is when I travel.
 
It’s been years since I’ve flown longer than an hour. I’ll be headed to central America in February, and I gotta say, as excited as I am for this adventure, I can do without the five-hour commute. Fear seems to trump the thrill whenever I board a plane.
 
Back when pill-popping was my favorite time suck, all it took to calm my nerves on a plane was five milligrams of Xanax (high tolerance much?), knocked back with a couple mimosas. Sure I’d wake up covered in drool, hazy with confusion, but hey – no anxiety!
 
I’ve heard creative folks tend to fear flying more than their logical-thinking counterparts. Being a card-carrying member of the left brain society, I fit that bill. I imagine shards of glass exploding, the smell of flesh burning in the smokey cockpit and hear screaming voices almost louder than my own – and all because of a little turbulance. It’s awesome.
 
I am going to be fine, I know – but it still feels like I won’t, when I am in the air. A therapist told me once it was a control thing, but I’m not sure I’d be any calmer at the head of the plane with the controls in my hands. In fact, I’m sure I’d find a way to freak.
 
So tell me: Are you a logical or emotional person? And are you afraid of flying?
 
Christine Macdonald