Go through

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Yesterday I met with a wise man. He listened to me bitch about the return of my optical migraines.If you don’t have personal knowledge of these brain bashes, color me green with envy. Optical migraines for me are in a word, debilitating.

Are you under an unusual amount of stress? Wise Man asked.
My lips curved up slightly and my head tilted as if deciding a flavor ice cream he was offering.
Ummmm. Not that I can… I started to answer.

Wise Man returned my grin and searched in my eyes, waiting for me to continue.
Well. I am writing a memoir about my drug addiction and years as a stripper. I shared.

Like a father discovering a nail in the tire, Wise Man gave a look of ‘well, there it is’ and raised his hands before clasping them calmly on his lap. I suddenly realized what he was about to say and felt a little foolish for not knowing sooner.

Well Christine, anytime you dig deep into emotional history, you will undoubtedly feel added stress, even if it is only on a subconscious level.
I nodded in agreement.

My neurology appointment is scheduled and I am taking measures to work through this onset of challenges.

Writing is still bringing a small amount of stress, but there is more cathartic joy within the walls of my memory to stop my fingers from speaking to the keys. Not even brainpain will stop me from finishing this manuscript.

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We all have things in life that are a pain in the neck. Things that make us grown-ups and words we accept in our adult vocabulary like responsibility and obligation.

The truth is – life is harder than fun most of the time. Reality kicks us and we fall. The thing to remember is: Just keep getting back up. 



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“The best way out is always through”
Robert Frost

Christine Macdonald