A Valentine for Singles (You Are Victorious)

It’s February. You’re single. Unless you’ve held yourself hostage binging on Netflix and Domino’s since New Year’s Eve, you’ve been exposed.

At first glance, the damage is nominal. You enter the grocery store for paper towels and laundry detergent and get your first glimpse. Petite floral displays paired with heart-shaped balloons have replaced the clearance-priced holiday wreathes and pine cones.

Red and pink carnations cover the display section near the entrance, along with heart-shaped boxes filled with chocolates. 

For singles, Valentine’s Day is a welcome mat of I am unlovable. It’s right there waiting; ready for us to wipe our lonely all over its face. But guess what? It doesn’t have to. We can just as easily be wiping awesome all over this day, leaving a trail of “I’m not settling” glitter in the air. A kind of pheromone-dust released only after making it to the other side of anguish born from heartbreak. It wreaks of well deserved, long overdue happiness. And why shouldn’t we be happy? It’s far better to be alone than with the wrong person.

When it comes to love, being alone and happy blows doors off of feeling alone with the wrong person. Why tread water in a crowded pool when you can save yourself alone in the ocean?

Whatever our story, when it comes to love not being right – it’s never easy to let go. Breakup casualties are everywhere. But we always survive the pain. And when going through the darkness after a breakup, the very best thing to do is remind ourselves of just how loveable we really are.

We love ourselves enough to know when it’s time to let go. We deserve to be with the one person who will make us realize why it didn’t work with anyone else.

But for some, Valentine’s Day when you’re single still feels like a trap. So many of us define ourselves by our relationship status. That’s not only wrong, it’s dangerous.

Whenever I’ve been single on February 14, I’ve called it “Victory Day” – makes more sense. When we survive emotional land mines of true love’s demise, we are victorious.

Still feel like shit on Valentine’s Day? Read this list of love lessons and remember: you’re worth more than what some candy-filled display wants you to believe.

~ ~ ~


  1. If someone wants you, nothing can keep them away. If they don’t, nothing can make them stay.
  2. Stop making excuses for anyone’s behavior.
  3. If you have ANY doubt in your mind about someone’s character, leave ’em alone.
  4. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
  5. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that’s not meant to be.
  6. Don’t force an attraction. And remember – sex isn’t love.
  7. Never live your life for anyone.
  8. If you feel like you’re being strung along, you probably are.
  9. There is nothing wrong with dining out alone. It’s sexy, even.
  10. Don’t stay because you think “it will get better.” You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not.
  11. Actions speak louder than words.
  12. Never let anyone define who you are.
  13. Don’t knock masturbation (it’s sex with someone you love).

Christine Macdonald

*Let’s just consider it water under my vagina

*This post has been updated February 11, 2015.
If you’ve been reading here a while, you know all about my body dysmorphia issues. My scale has been up and down so much, it should be a trampoline. From anorexia at 16 followed by the fun-filled cocaine and Taco Bell diet in my 20s, to my yo-yo struggles with comfort food addiction in my 30s, I’ve literally seen four different dress sizes cohabitation in my closet for years.


I’ve been trying to eat well since my brain aneurysm diagnosis. Between that, therapy visits and moving my body more (walking), I’m realizing there’s something to this whole body-connection-thing. Having a nice figure is really just a side effect of being healthy.

Captain Obvious? Is that you?

Furthering that thought, having a happy attitude is really an added bonus – the sweet cherry topping – to our emotional, hot fudge sundae. If you’re mentally and physically healthy, the Happy and Hot will follow.  

Do I feel happy all of time, and do I walk around feeling like Cindy Crawford, circa any decade? Er, no. But more times than not, when I’m taking care of myself I’ve an extra bounce in my step, and in the right lighting, on a good hair day, after kicking back some champagne, I feel like a super model. Kind of.

I’m still not where I want to be, but I’m closer than I was yesterday.

SBFor those of us in our 40s, we need to be ready to face middle-age with a healthier lifestyle. So far, it’s been a blast living in a body that can’t rally the way it did twenty years ago.

This will be the decade of Divine Decadence, like Sally Bowles in Cabaret. Without the hairstyle and cigarettes.

So how does one kick off a new-found healthy way of life? By opening

Christine Macdonald

Pouring You a Glass – Filled with Chocolate


Valentine’s Day is looming. This is the time where love-drunk couples deliriously count down to the day where basking in *coupledomis not only allowed, it’s downright Hallmark Preferred. If filling in the Single box on a personals ad is the only action you are getting these days, you may want to steer clear of the greeting card aisle for a bit. Whatever side of the soufflé you currently reside, you can be sure to taste one thing: the permeating flavor of propaganda.

Every February, the Valentine marketing brothel opens her doors and sweet-toothed patrons satiate on the many gifts with purchase. For some, any excuse basking in chocolate and the inevitable sugar-crashed fetal position blissfully ensues. Candy coated lovers have it easy, but what if you have two left feet when trying to navigate the romance dance? Before tripping over the Christmas candy bargain bin, check out these unique gift ideas.



Dating just a short while and not quite ready for monogrammed bath robes? Take the pressure off by sharing some laughs at your local comedy club. It may be too soon for pre-fixe menus at a five star eatery, but it doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy a memorable date night. Sharing laughter over two-drink minimums and Buffalo wings may be one of the best ways to get to know your partner; nothing says true love like instantaneous snorting of hot sauce.

The Naked Stage

Making it past the newbie dating scene and spending time under the covers is lovely; in the naked stage, the veil of uncertainty is lifted and you happily sink in to comfortable stability. But what if comfort lends itself to monotony and the excitement is all but gone? This Valentine’s night, leave the flannel pajamas in the dryer and go to bed together wearing nothing but smiles, holding a custom-made massage coupon. It doesn’t matter if you are a novice to this type of seduction; the key word here is seduction.

The Parent Trap

Do your adorable energy-drains (otherwise known as your children) have you sleep-walking your way through life? It may be time to schedule some freedom fun with your partner. What better time than Valentine’s Day to remind each other that life is about more than just diaper duty? Balance the baby-load and log on line to discover many grown up getaways available on the Internet. Find a local bed and breakfast, a baby sitter (relatives are excellent) and try not to leave permanent skid marks in the driveway.


Nature Lovers

Do you enjoy spending time outdoors but don’t have a romantic bone in your body? Nature lovers can relax; romance is all around. A leisurely walk in the park with wine and cheese in tow is an excellent way to spend the day. There is something about laying on a blanket outdoors with your special someone that can make even romance-challenged partners feel the love. The birds will sing your praises as you snuggle up under the shade. Just remember to watch for falling…souvenirs.

Solo Artists

Valentine’s Day is viewed as a day for lovers; a time to celebrate that special someone in our lives. But what if you are flying solo right now? Where’s the special day to acknowledge letting go of someone who was wrong for you? To this, I say we substitute the word Valentine for Victory.

If you are single this Valentine’s Day, spend it strolling down congratulatory lane. Dust off old photos while talking with close friends and remember how far you’ve come. Take pride in your ability to stand alone and relish in the fact that you are victorious. Spend your special Victory Day with friends at dinner, or spend a quiet night in; enjoy a long bubble bath with candles and wine. Oh, and don’t forget the chocolate.

* Coupledom. Pronunciation: \ˈcouple-dəm\ Function: noun
:the quality or state of being in a couple: the absence of being single

Christine Macdonald