A Valentine for Singles (You Are Victorious)

It’s February. You’re single. Unless you’ve held yourself hostage binging on Netflix and Domino’s since New Year’s Eve, you’ve been exposed.

At first glance, the damage is nominal. You enter the grocery store for paper towels and laundry detergent and get your first glimpse. Petite floral displays paired with heart-shaped balloons have replaced the clearance-priced holiday wreathes and pine cones.

Red and pink carnations cover the display section near the entrance, along with heart-shaped boxes filled with chocolates. 

For singles, Valentine’s Day is a welcome mat of I am unlovable. It’s right there waiting; ready for us to wipe our lonely all over its face. But guess what? It doesn’t have to. We can just as easily be wiping awesome all over this day, leaving a trail of “I’m not settling” glitter in the air. A kind of pheromone-dust released only after making it to the other side of anguish born from heartbreak. It wreaks of well deserved, long overdue happiness. And why shouldn’t we be happy? It’s far better to be alone than with the wrong person.

When it comes to love, being alone and happy blows doors off of feeling alone with the wrong person. Why tread water in a crowded pool when you can save yourself alone in the ocean?

Whatever our story, when it comes to love not being right – it’s never easy to let go. Breakup casualties are everywhere. But we always survive the pain. And when going through the darkness after a breakup, the very best thing to do is remind ourselves of just how loveable we really are.

We love ourselves enough to know when it’s time to let go. We deserve to be with the one person who will make us realize why it didn’t work with anyone else.

But for some, Valentine’s Day when you’re single still feels like a trap. So many of us define ourselves by our relationship status. That’s not only wrong, it’s dangerous.

Whenever I’ve been single on February 14, I’ve called it “Victory Day” – makes more sense. When we survive emotional land mines of true love’s demise, we are victorious.

Still feel like shit on Valentine’s Day? Read this list of love lessons and remember: you’re worth more than what some candy-filled display wants you to believe.

~ ~ ~

 

  1. If someone wants you, nothing can keep them away. If they don’t, nothing can make them stay.
  2. Stop making excuses for anyone’s behavior.
  3. If you have ANY doubt in your mind about someone’s character, leave ’em alone.
  4. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
  5. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that’s not meant to be.
  6. Don’t force an attraction. And remember – sex isn’t love.
  7. Never live your life for anyone.
  8. If you feel like you’re being strung along, you probably are.
  9. There is nothing wrong with dining out alone. It’s sexy, even.
  10. Don’t stay because you think “it will get better.” You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not.
  11. Actions speak louder than words.
  12. Never let anyone define who you are.
  13. Don’t knock masturbation (it’s sex with someone you love).

Christine Macdonald